Monday, 5 May 2014

The 1/4 lb Cheese Burger - Staple Hill Servery, Trago Mills, Newton Abbot.

Where?: Staple Hill Servery, Trago Mills, Newton Abbot.

What?: The 1/4 lb Cheese Burger 

How much?: £3.25

The Verdict: 

There are a few given things in life.  If you drive off a cliff, you will die.  If you cut your finger off, it will bleed. If you pay £3.25 for burger and chips, it will be a bit of a shock.

Often places that do really good breakfasts like the Staple Hill Servery at Trago Mills (and Eating Exeter has already been here and had a breakfast or two), are good at breakfasts and not much else.

For what is technically an 'in-store cafe', I've always been quietly impressed with the service and the speed that you are served and seated.  The breakfasts (£4.65 All Day Breakfast) have never been anything other than impressive and for what you get, the value is really quite good. The portion is large, there is cheap tea and the servery itself is so large that you can sit far from the rest of humanity if you so choose to.

But stray from the path with trepidation, for you might find yourself with a 'Cheese Burger'.

After last night's visit to The Hub Box and my recent visit to The Oddfellows, and as an academic exercise I felt that it would be interesting to see what the 1/4lb Cheese Burger they had on offer actually consisted of.  I wanted to see what the Trago Mills interpretation of a burger was, as burgers are becoming something of an art form these days.

The Trago Mills Cheese Burger consists of the following.:

1 x Economy Burger (mostly made up of wood shavings and onion)
1 x Cheap White Bap
4 x Slices of Plastic Cheese (mostly made up of paint, rubber and cheese flavouring)

It is an odd thing really because the burger wasn't too bad (it was edible) but the painted rubber cheese seemed to give the whole burger itself a rather chemically after-taste.  The burger was a typical 'distant memory of school canteen' burger, its cooking process a little of a mystery but more than likely heated in a microwave by a lady called Michelle who had an argument with her husband.

Then there were the chips, which actually had potential and were cooked well but were 'warm' at best and by the time I had finished the burger had gone cold.  So I resorted to throwing them at passing people but found this hard as I couldn't muster the courage to. So I threw them at my wife instead, but couldn't muster the courage to.  So I just thought about it and drank my cheap tea which spilt everywhere as the teapots are poorly designed and poured everywhere apart from the cup.

Despite the misgivings, the chemical flavored cheese, the poorly designed teapots and the burger that might not be a burger, I will return to this place for the breakfast and the cheap tea.  But whether I will have a burger again is another matter.

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